Update:

So, I've found a job that I think I would be great at here and if you check the job listing, the salary range is $15.04/$23.58 ...

Yeah, that's what I said.

Problem: I currently have 2 warrants in Garland (both for the same stop by the cops in Sept. of '99, and both tickets LOST by the Garland P.D. until January of this year, when they turned them into warrants on me out of nowhere), and it would look really bad for me when they did my background check.

Problem solution: Utilize my friendship with the Chief of Police (introduced via his daughter).

He OFFERED (without prompting, I swear) to call the judge and have the warrants reduced, or dismissed all together, and then once my application was put in, to have someone go pick it up so that it is seen first. Needless to say, I wanted to hump his leg right then and there.

Good lord, I want this job so badly I have gone over my resume 10 times and I'm still worried that it won’t be right. I am so nervous about this that I can't sit still or eat, and I haven't even put in my application yet.

Just give me a fucking chance, and I'll show you what I'm capable of you motherfuckers! I'll rock your call center, dispatching ass off!

And to think, my tactic is usually to stroll in there like I don't give a fuck if they want to hire me or not. "You can't afford me, mister"

I want to keep typing about how nervous I am, and how this job would be a great thing for me in every way, but I'll let you imagine it on your own from here. Just pretend that the person or thing that you want more than anything in the world is in your grasp, and it could be yours if you could only get it's attention, but you can't think of a way, and its getting ready to leave the room.

...Well no, I don’t think screaming "FUCK" at the top of my lungs would work, but if you insist.