T minus 25 days and counting.

The house is getting sold and we are off like a herd of turtles into the great blue yonder, with pockets full of wooden nickels and scissors in our hands.

We'll swim WHILE eating.

We'll lick batteries and frozen flagpoles.

We'll T-P your goddamn lawn!

Why does it just now feel as though I am becoming independent, when I have been so for some time now? Weird.

AAAAAAAND!!

One of you kind, thoughtful, generous, loving people should adopt this poor animal

otherwise we will be forced to shove him headfirst into a tree shredder.

And you wouldn't want THAT on your conscience, would you?

(It won't be on ours, because we don't have one. So there.)